Tolkien rant

Checking through back posts, I thought that I had posted this one but it looks like I had left it as pending. The rant I have left the way I wrote it back in 2009 – based on the rant I used to use about the book - before all the LOTR movies had been made.

I was a big fan of The Hobbit book and had seen the animated versions of both Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings (and The Return of The King) and liked them enough but always felt the LOTR wasn’t as well written as the Hobbit. I think the achievement of making the movies in a live-action format was a wonderful achievement, and that the movies keep very true to the spirit of the books. I just believe that the book weren't very well written.

To explain - behold my rant.


First they're chased by 1 wraith and it's terrible - but they barely escape. Then they're chased by a few wraiths (in Bree) and it's terrible - but they barely escape. Then they're chased by the wraiths on horseback and it's terrible - and they barely escape.

Then they form a Fellowship that lasts the first encounter until they meet a Balrog - which is terrible - and they barely escape - but lose Gandalf. The fellowship then breaks up - never to join again. Boromir dies, Pippin/Merry are captured, Aragorn/Boromir/Legolas chase after them, and Frodo/Sam go off on their own.

A/B/L chase after the orks who have M/P and almost catch them, but then they need horses so they run into the Rohan who give them horses. They find Gandalf who needs a horse but luckily, he's befriended this great horse who helps them out. There's some minor intrigue with Rohan (Grimer Wormtoungue untrustworthy - what a fortuotous name). And then the big battle at Helm's Deep, followed by the bigger battle at Gondor, followed by the really Big Battle at the gates - where they are defeated and going to lose when - luckily, the ring is dropped and they win.

The hobbits (F/S) get to almost where they need to be, get captured and get taken back, and have to go over again. When it comes time to drop their load, Frodo can't even do it, Gollum has to. Oh, and about that ring, even though Gandalf knew about it, and knew what it did, he only now learns that it's The Ring - they one they've all been looking for all this time. But then he wanders off for months and months, gets trapped in a tower, and finally luckily escapes.